America’s Most Blunted–They Grow Up So Fast
…nominated for the best rolled L’s
And they wondered how he dealt with stress so well
Wild guess? You could say he stay sedated
Some say buddha’d, some say faded
Some times drug use isn’t funny…typically when heroin is involved. That’s why we’re steering clear of the mess involving Andy Reid’s family, some things just aren’t ripe for mockery. Reid’s got a lot on his plate right now…no, joking would be wrong, let’s just move on.
How about a round of applause for the Simms men? Yeah Phil’s not the best in the business but compared to Bill Maas he’s a fucking wunderkind. Then there’s Chris with his measty toughness and his compulsion to validate his man-love in the most permanent of fashions. That right there is a pretty solid NFL Father/Son combo, plus they’ve got as many titles as all three Mannings.
More recently we’ve seen the emergence of another one of the Simms clan. Matt, the baby of the family, is a quarterback heading to Louisville. You might remember him for acting like a total douchebag in a high school football game. It was starting to look as if the Simms family had found its black sheep, somebody who offers nothing in the form of entertainment. Well shit done changed and I have a new favorite Simms.
via EagleInsiderLook at those hands.
Look closer.
Look at that cocktail napkin.
Look closer.
Mmmm…that looks like it’s gonna make one hell of a tasty blunt. And as everybody knows, it’s not a party unless you’ve got your Goose on.
Matt Simms, we salute you…unless you’re just breaking up weed for the black dude to twist, in which case you’re still a bitch. You gotta be self-reliant if you’re going to college.
Tags: Uncategorized
February 9th, 2007 at 12:47 am
The funniest thing is nobody was sitting by him until he reached into his lovely blue purse located behind him and pulled out the flavored shell and $25 bag of eight for all to enjoy.
February 9th, 2007 at 12:55 am
Check the ridges, that bad boy was cut open like Chris after Carolina got done with him.
February 9th, 2007 at 1:03 am
Yeah, looks small too. I’m gonna say his L game is substandard at best. Still, gotta respect the effort. Rolling blunts separates the men from the boys. That, and pubes. But I’m not sure he has those.
February 9th, 2007 at 2:17 am
You can’t knock him too much, the kid’s only in high school. I’m sure we can expect Rex-level acts of deviance when our young hero gets on campus. The best part of this photo is the presense of that fierce blue purse when there are no females to be seen. On loan from Chris?
February 9th, 2007 at 4:21 am
Ahhh…Madvillain.
Matt Simms will be boozing at Churchill Downs and sneaking blunts into the club level in no time.
February 9th, 2007 at 5:57 am
There’s only so much time left in this crazy world… he’s just crumblin’ ‘erb… he’s just crumblin’ ‘erb….
February 9th, 2007 at 8:21 am
Matt Simms, you got some ’spleenin to do!
February 9th, 2007 at 9:14 am
Simms SHOULD have had daughters? Did you say Chris Simms was tough? Brett Favre would have had his spleen removed and been back on the field the next week.
Gradkowski’s still the better QB.
February 9th, 2007 at 9:30 am
UM, Did you stay up all night just to get that time stamp? Funny guy.
February 9th, 2007 at 9:46 am
oh come on, little Matt was just trying to prepare himself for life with his new rommate at Loisville.
February 9th, 2007 at 9:52 am
Carter: That’s cigaweed!
Cigaweed Man: Well it looked like a cigarette…
Carter: You better have glaucoma.
Cigaweed Man: I do.
February 9th, 2007 at 9:57 am
Good call, Undead. I missed that.
February 9th, 2007 at 10:06 am
Like I said… thats gotta be a Philly.
February 9th, 2007 at 10:09 am
I expect him to be a great qb–blunt rollers are natural leaders. Rolling a blunt is not something that most smokers even attempt, especially at that age. He probably entered high school rolling at a 12th grade level…fucking prodigy.
Is that a Ma$e shirt that guy is wearing?
February 9th, 2007 at 10:12 am
judging by the size i’m starting to think it’s a swisher.
February 9th, 2007 at 10:13 am
Look at my button down striped shirt! Fucking look at it!
February 9th, 2007 at 10:17 am
Dude his hands are HUGE!!!!!
February 9th, 2007 at 10:33 am
Posted at 4:20 AM. Well done, sir.
February 9th, 2007 at 10:39 am
The biggest crime commented in that photo was that he thought those all white tennis shoes looked cool. Well at least they match his skin tone.
February 9th, 2007 at 10:41 am
“Shmokin weed shmokin weed, drinkin beers doin coke….”
February 9th, 2007 at 11:44 am
You think Baby Simms calls out “puff, puff, give” instead of “hut, hut, hike” at the line?
February 9th, 2007 at 11:59 am
Damn that kid has game…can he roll me one?
February 9th, 2007 at 12:30 pm
downtown brown huh? last i checked, the weed i smoked was GREEN… either that is tobacco or he dosent have the $$ to step up for some decent buds… SIMMS, CALL ME I CAN HOOK YOU UP!!!
February 9th, 2007 at 12:33 pm
I agree with BDH. spring for something better than the imported crap.
February 9th, 2007 at 12:36 pm
i think it’s green you it’s just not all that clear with the brown blunt paper as a backdrop.
February 9th, 2007 at 1:59 pm
ALL CAPS, MF’ers.
February 9th, 2007 at 2:05 pm
I had a table five feet away from the Simms clan at this party (Mark Wahlberg’s Super Bowl Bash on Friday) and that doob smelled like Chris’s flaming vag when they sparked it up.
February 9th, 2007 at 2:37 pm
That’s some nice Charles ROgers brick weed.
http://ghostsofwaynefontes.blogspot.com/
February 9th, 2007 at 3:05 pm
Nate Newton thinks Simms is a pussy
February 9th, 2007 at 3:22 pm
plus they’ve got as many titles as all three Mannings
Don’t they have twice as many?
February 9th, 2007 at 3:34 pm
His face looks sooo punchable.
February 9th, 2007 at 4:11 pm
noyam- only if you count the Hostetler game.
February 9th, 2007 at 4:52 pm
Nice to see KSK upping the THC content so dramatically this past week.
A few more posts like this and we’ll be doing the Red-Eyed Wander at work. Well done.
February 9th, 2007 at 5:17 pm
UM: plus they’ve got as many titles as all three Mannings
noyam: Don’t they have twice as many?
UM: only if you count the Hostetler game.
touche salesman
February 12th, 2007 at 1:54 pm
I almost feel like crediting ‘lil Matty with some cool points, but I can just imagine his gay ass saying “hey, I’m the fucking QB, I get the first shotgun” every time he rolls a blunt.
August 21st, 2008 at 12:29 pm
[...] Matt Simms, quarterback, dumbass. [...]
February 5th, 2009 at 12:49 am
You guys have no lives. You sit on the internet and bash this kid and you don’t even fucking know him. Well guess what motherfuckers I know matt and for all the shit you guys are posting on here no one here would have the balls to say that shit to his face. I bet at least half of you fucks are just St. Peters prep/Bergen Bitches that have nothing better to do than sit on here and look up what the fuck Bosco Kids are doing with their lives. And then you sit there and say “Oh matt simms got caught rollin a blunt, haha he deserves that for embarassing my school for four years, oh let me hit this celebratory joint, and matter of fact I might find more dirt on more former bosco stars and jerk my tiny little chode” SHUT THE FUCK UP. I actually wouldn’t be suprised if its some fucking 50 yr old men that had children that went to bergen and think “Ha when my kid didn’t get that D1 scholarship I wanted him to get after spending millions at Parisis it really wasn’t that bad cuz look at Simm’s kid” as your fucking kid is in his dorm room at fuckin FDU or Rutgers or something smoking a blunt and eating firecrackers as he waits for his next batch of pot brownies to come fresh out of his barbie easy bake oven. Maybe if all you fucks took Roids like Cushing did you guys would actually be half-decent. So all you little fucks get a life and stop talkin shit on some kid you don’t even fucking know
April 18th, 2009 at 2:51 am
Matt is a moron.
A total jerk who will never make it to the NFL.
He could have, but it takes 100% desire and work.
Matt has neither.
Tell his father that we have had our “Phil” of his son the clown.
I am,
GEORGE VREELAND HILL
May 6th, 2009 at 6:55 pm
Matt is now at El Camino Jr. College in Torrance, CA. From all accounts from his past history, there is no change in this young mans demeaner. He shows off prior to football practices (in terms of throwing the ball well into the stadium seats) and carries himself as Gods gift to recievers. I believe this kid loves to ride his fathers coat tails. There is no class in this kid nor does he have the heart of a competitor. He runs from competition!!
November 8th, 2009 at 6:08 pm
His old man, #11 an all time Gmen great was tough as nails and strong as shit. Phil wouldn’t take shit from nobody, even Ronnie lott in that 7-3 loss in SF on monday night football in ‘90. And the same season when he broke his shit vs Bills.. the man was about to kick darrel talley fucking shit. whil jim kelly was crying from is bruised knee.