I’m that star up in the sky / I’m that mountain peak up high / Hey I made it / Mmm… / I’m the world’s greatest
The NFC East is the greatest division in all of sports. Yeah my Redskins suck and Dallas and Philly are both going to get killed in the playoffs but that doesn’t change shit in my mind. Of course that’s because the NFC East is home to best damn cheerleaders this side of Dillon High. Who cares if the Giants are too gay to field a squad of their own, the Iggles, Redskinettes, and Cowgirls might just be the three best representatives of tits and ass in the entire league.
So today I’ve decided to combine my love of the NFC East’s pant-tighteners with something everybody needs this time of year…CALENDARS! That’s right you drunks, assuming you just woke up this morning you should probably know it’s already the last week of December, if you don’t get that calendar now you’re gonna be really confused on Monday. Speaking of which, I hate the last week of December. The days jammed in between the Winter Solstice and New Years fucking suck and should be turned into a holiday for everybody to enjoy…I’m thinking All Taints Day.
So without further ado, lets look at some shimmery goodness!
This is Becca, but you should already know that, she spends more time gracing this site than Footsteps Falco and Drew’s wife combined. Before you start calling dibs you should remember that she’s completely infatuated with our own Captain Caveman…at least that’s the word on the street over at Karmic Payback. Even though she’s not quite as thick in the britches as she once was, I’d say she could still hold up to a good bangin’. And really, what more can we ask of our cheerleaders?
This is Janipher (I’m guessing her parents were even bigger Donovan fans than mine) and she is fucking lovely. I had a few choices to go with on this one but Janipher just had to win out. Apparently I’m going through that “soaking wet young asian girl” phase…again (see below). The things I would do to this young lady are not appropriate for such a forum, just know that it would involve a kicking tee a tackling dummy and Wellington Mara’s corpse.
This is Lisa…I will make her my wife. Yeah, Danny Snyder deserves most of the criticism he receives, but when it comes to the Redskinettes even the most jaded fan will give him two thumbs (and one other appendage) up. Of course he still worships one thing above all else and that’s revenue. For this reason we can’t actually see the inside of the calendar without actually spending 15 bucks (and no, you’ll need more than 15 to see Lisa’s insides…trust me).
Bonus Exhibit- The Giant Lesbians
This is Kate Mara, her grandfather died because he saw her munching some serious luxury box on TV. Leave it to those pigfucking Jersey bitches masquerading as New Yorkers to fuck up one of the NFL fan’s unalienable rights, the ability to eyefuck future call girls. Well just because they don’t put on a show on the sidelines doesn’t mean there’s nothing worthwhile going on behind the scenes. Of course I’m referring to Wellington’s piece-of-ass granddaughter and her onscreen exploits. Here she is dressed in traditional cheerleader atire engaging in what I can only imagine is traditional cheerleader behavior.
Have a good New Year you lecherous fuckers/gorgeous female readers.
Tags: Uncategorized
December 29th, 2006 at 4:30 pm
Janipher may be taking a shower because she feels dirty. Dirty as in ass to mouth. Now I need a shower.
December 29th, 2006 at 4:39 pm
When your NFL team sucks pond scum I guess you guys always have the cheerleaders to fall back on..or just fall on, whatever the case may be.
December 29th, 2006 at 4:47 pm
i still love the redskins for what they are. the cheerleaders are just a nice perk.
December 29th, 2006 at 4:49 pm
I can’t form any words….
December 29th, 2006 at 4:56 pm
My God but I do love Becca. Thanks, UM.
December 29th, 2006 at 5:08 pm
I am an idiot who knows not how to link. But this is for my man Flubby…
http://sportsnspice.blogspot.com/2006/12/just-for-flubby.html
December 29th, 2006 at 5:29 pm
These are the type of posts that get me through this last hour of work. God bless you UM.
December 29th, 2006 at 5:55 pm
Best. Tree. Evar.
December 29th, 2006 at 7:02 pm
Janipher (WTF?) made me need a sedative.
It’s a good thing I work in a hospital.
December 29th, 2006 at 9:43 pm
Happy New Year one and all - off to start weekend long drinking binge in 5…4…3… fuck it, I’m out.
December 30th, 2006 at 2:29 am
THE WIZARDS ARE IN FIRST PLACE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE (plus an additional five years or so)!!!!!!!!!!
I’m a bit fucked up
December 30th, 2006 at 3:25 am
You’re quoting R. Kelly lyrics and displaying your love for light-skinned Black girls. I’m not sure if there is a connection, but I’m working on it.
December 30th, 2006 at 11:42 am
Cheerleaders like Becca make me consider being a Cowboys fan for a split second. I still have the honey shot NBC got of her on Christmas Day stuck in my head.
December 30th, 2006 at 2:17 pm
that’s right head chick, i only piss on the light-skinned girls
December 31st, 2006 at 12:21 pm
I thought he was quoting Chappelle quoting R. Kelly.
December 31st, 2006 at 2:49 pm
i’m pretty sure dave never covered the world’s greatest.