We at Kissing Suzy Kolber are admittedly biased. We don’t tolerate fools, douchebags, or fat chicks (although if she’s a little thick in the britches…). And we certainly have little love for Peter King. As you can see here. Or here. Ummm… or here. And especially here.

So while you read this, keep in mind that it’s coming from a decidedly anti-Peter King slant. Nevertheless, I think the case presented below precludes the need for us to call this otherwise nice, dorky middle-aged man ugly names. I’ve written this before, then deleted it from the Internet, and I’ll write it again: we want no quarrel with Peter King. We just feel it is our duty to occasionally police media douchebaggery.

Or, in this case, what might be — if you were the kind of person to pay attention to such things — thinly veiled racism. In this week’s MMQB and TMQB columns, King ranks (and then defends) his selections for the top five coaches and top five quarterbacks with whom to start a franchise.

Here are his top five coaches, in picture form (click to enlarge):


And here are King’s top five franchise quarterbacks (if you mathletes count six, that’s because Hasselbeck and Rivers tied for fifth):


Notice anything unusual about that list? Diligent KSK reader Michael does:

Quite the fair-skinned bunch wouldn’t you say? King goes on to defend his pick of Saban in the top 5 by saying he is too smart of a coach to leave off the list and pointing towards the Dolphins’ last two wins, apparently we are supposed to ignore the abomination that was the first half of their season. There is no explanation why Dungy, who took Tampa to the cusp of the Super Bowl and has led Indy to the first back to back 9-0 season starts ever, is so far down the list.

As far as McNabb not cracking his top 5 QBs (in fact he is #8 behind Carson Palmer as well) King says that he blames McNabb more for the Eagles’ failures than he does Manning for that of the Colts’. However, King seems to have no problem moving McNabb’s coach up on his list ahead of Manning’s.

Damn. Gold star for Michael, right?

(Personally, I’d also wonder why Saban gets so much credit for a season and half of almost-.500 ball, while Lovie Smith has produced much greater results — with not much more talent — in just one more year of experience.)

Now, I don’t think King is overtly racist (not that I’m looking to make excuses for him). After all, he’s eager to support jolly but unqualified black men like Jerome Bettis for the Hall of Fame, and he has long criticized NFL owners for not being more proactive in interviewing and hiring minority coaches.

But I guess his standards for what’s right only apply to other people, since when it comes time for him to pick his coach, no person of color cracks the top five.