F–k It. I’m Throwing It Downfield.
11.27.06
Is that Berrian? I think he’s triple-covered. You know what? Fuck it. I’m throwing it downfield.
Yeah, I see Jones open on the flank. But fuck that. Dumpoff passes are for faggots. I’m fucking Sexy Rexy Grossman. I can get that ball in there. And, even if I can’t, I bet I’ll be able to pull it off the next go round. I like throwing the ball long. It makes my dick hard.
What’s that? I should throw a quick slant? Fuck that. That’s gay. Button hook? Gay. Flare out? Gay. Screen pass? Kevin Spacey gay. This is fucking football. You can’t just expect wins to come to you. You can’t massage that shit. You gotta grab that game by the throat and rape the ever-loving shit out of it. You think a 5-yard out is gonna win you a game? You’re a pussy. This ain’t John Shoop running this offense. Sexy Rexy’s got the arm. The dragon. You gotta unleash the dragon.
Okay, I’m throwing it. Nice. Look how far it went. I look good. I bet I made that Pats cheerleader wet her panties with that throw. She fucking wants me. I bet she likes it over a stair railing. I can hit that with 100% accuracy, my dear. Mmmmmm. I am delicious.
Oh shit. Looks like Samuel caught it. Again. Oh well. It still felt fucking great to throw that shit. Tell me that wasn’t one of the prettiest passes you ever saw. You know what? Not only am I gonna throw it long the next time we hit the field. I’m gonna throw it even longer. Harder. You see that kid in wheelchair sitting in the end zone bleachers? I’m gonna nail him right between the fucking eyes with a Sexy Rexy fastball. Why? Because I can.
This is Rex Grossman we’re talking about here. We’re talking 210 lbs. of twisted steel and sex appeal. I’m not just a gunslinger. I’m a cumslinger. Throwing that ball long tells all the Rexettes that I am fucking out there. On the edge. Where I gotta be. The ladies love the danger. The unpredictability. Oh, maybe I’ll tease them with a pretty touch pass every now and again. But then I’m gonna go right back to pumping that ball out for all it’s worth. It tells them I throw like I fuck. That’s how we do things in the sexy business.
Tell me you’re not turned on right now. I am.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
This actually clarified some things for me even with all of the hyperbole. I honestly always wondered what Lovey saw in him or would see in any offense for that matter that turned the ball over so often or at best went 3 & out. I guess Rexy was mostly effective in projecting his swag.
I swear they should have started Kyle Orton in the Super Bowl or I thought direct snaps might be another even better option.
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Rax-Grissman/34910478711
You’re Welcome. THE OFFICIAL RAX GRISSMAN Facebook Page
All during the Cowboys vs Redskins I was waiting for that sexy rexy deep ball… didn’t have to wait too long for him to show how well he can fail
I swear, this shit will NEVER get old.
Finally this shit has gone completely viral, its all over the place, on the Washington Post, and on ESPN. They took few excerpts from Drews essay about SExy RExy and posted in their articles. Apparently REx himself never knew about this until the reporter mentioned it to him during a conversation. I think this article about REx being a SEx canon with a Canon of an arm is going to pump him up for the CowBoys game tonite on national TV. Go REX!!!!
Why do I come back and read this so much…
This is amazing… KSK gem right here.
And yes, Eli IS so gay.
HTTR!
I still tear up every time i read this.. one of, if not the funniest football related spoof i have ever read.
..oh.. and i am Redskins fan :(
I’d love to see Sexy Rexy go something like this in the opener: 13/35 340yds. 1td/4int.
Then, the next game, changes nothing!
Sexy Rexy’s arm is so sweet, it gave Jay Cutler diabeetus.
Like the fellow a few posts up, I read this every year, and it gets better every year. This should be an ongoing series. Unfortunately, as a Skins fan, it gets truer every year. Hail!
Its one of the best blog/site ever seen my life. You have been shared best knowledge which is really helpful for everyone & I must say about your management of blog/site is fabulous & fantastic. Hats off to webmaster.
Testing
Of COURSE I had to google this shit after Sexy’s performance today.
Sexy Rexy has got my panties wet. Throw that deep pass!
Seriously you guys suck at moderating comments. Tons of ass and pussy shit, but you delete mine that actually had to do with the post = fail.
This is the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time. I wonder if the Redskins v. Cowboys game will improve Sexy Rexy’s resume.
As amazing as this post still is, reading the four-year progression in the comments might be even more enjoyable.
“Zach” gets the gold medal. It takes a special kind of dipshit to write, in September 2010, “This post is a rip off of something from a few years ago. Be creative and come up with your own shit or at least say where you got it from. Bitch.”
Indeed.
Sex Cannon is back!
Can we get a Jay Cutler 2010 remix of this?
helpful page I will adhere to you to this twitter ! i really hope
Hey “idiot”:
Give me one legit reason why you think he’s gay, as opposed to that whiny cry-baby faggot Tom Brady or any over paid arrogant quarterback. Eli isn’t the one who whined his way into the creation of the “tuck” rule, is he.
hey “nfl rules”……eli is gay .
anyway, i just stumbled across this again and cant stop laughing
……And so the Rex Grossman story continues on after leaving off while being traded from the Texans. In NFL Football action last weekend as the Redskins were playing the Lions, Mike Shanahan made potentially the worst decision in his head coaching career, when he replaced a perfectly healthy and in-shape Donovan McNabb with sexy rexy to lead the Redskins offense down the field. Oh, did i forget to mention: IT WAS IN THE LAST 2 MINUTES OF THE GAME AND THE REDSKINS WERE DOWN……………….AND THEY PUT FUCKING REX GROSSMAN IN TO LEAD THE GAME DECIDING DRIVE. I think a blindfolded Mark Sanchez has a better chance of completing a pass to a single reciever triple-covered by Darelle Revis, Champ Bailey, and Nnamdi Asomugha. I respect Shanahan and everything, but I hated his pathetic excuse saying “Donovan did not have the physical endurance to run a 2-minute offense” GIVE ME A BREAK. He’s only been doing it for about 10 years with the Eagles, not to mention he ran several two minute drills with Washington earlier THAT SAME FUCKING SEASON. The only reason Shanahan thought Grossman had better endurance was probably because rex was riding Kevin Spacey all night long before that game :P
Ok thats it for me. Peace out.
Reading this post three times a year might be the only religion I have.
I found KSK just a few weeks after “Fuck It. I’m Throwing It Deep” was originally posted. I was HOOKED instantly. Awesome!
This post is a rip off of something from a few years ago. Be creative and come up with your own shit or at least say where you got it from. Bitch
Very well written post. I recommend this realistic pussy and ass if you want an amazing experience. The holes are really realistic and tight and the very real texture and smooth, soft skin is, to be honest better than the real thing – it feels like real vaginal and anal sex. Check it out at at http://www.realisticvaginaandass.com – it’s a great price too and well worth it. You won’t need any other male sex toy and it beats any fleshlight or tenga for realism. I think of it all day at work and when I get home I can’t wait to use it. Good luck…
It looks like the Redskins cheerleaders will be having multiple Rexgasms this season.
I read this every year, it never get’s old. Well played, well played.
I have no real opinion about Rex but anyone who calls Eli Manning gay should be shafted so hard up their ass that Kevin Spacey will feel it.
this is the funniest thing i’ve ever read on the internet, in my 11 years of being on the internet. this was genius.
this was mother fucking comedy.
well played.
good good
Slingin’ Cum and Throwing it Deep: The Rex Grossman Story.
Starring Tim Tebow as Rex Grossman, Louis Gossett Jr as Lovie Smith, and Zach Galifianakis as Kyle Orton.
Rated NC-17.
In Theaters: Summer, 2010.
Really elegant string of pearls configuration. Unfortunately, incredibly unstable.
I still refer to this article when I’m feeling sad or having a bad day. Tear. Probably because it’s the greatest shit ever written. I fucking hate rex grossman.
That is hilarious dude. Look out for his comeback this week! He won’t be looking for Berrian, but with Orton out with hurt feelings and emotional instability, Grossman will be going deep!
Want to see big tits movies and pictures…CLICK HERE
Yeah sexy Rexy is back and looking good when he lets the long ball fly.
I might be dreaming but i believe that rex needed to be benched just so that he could sit back and realise what he had.
Now he will come out like he did on Sunday and be paitient but when he see’s the chance he will pick a defense apart with that arm of his.
Rex im in Sydney Australia and i can feel the spark that you have given your team and Town.
and by the way all you Rex haters i bet you will be licking the sweat off his balls when he takes Da Bears to the playoff’s
Go Da Bears
The Dragon is back
LOL. He does have nice hands, you know…
Feel free to visit for your daily dose of sex, madness and pure fun:
http://bizarrejapan.blogspot.com/
I love the Forex. That’s some great information.
Forex Signals | Forex Trading Made Easy | Forex Trading System | Best Forex Training
You know how I know Rex is Gay?…..his profile says his favorite band is Coldplay and rumor has it he has a framed Asia poster in his bedroom.
How’s that Johnny? :)
This truly was one of the best things written all year in regards tot he NFL. And it became even more pertinent after the Super Bowl, during which threw it downfield with wreckless abandon. In fact, there’s even a facebook group devoted to it, of which you may or may not already be aware Drew:
http://nyu.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2225476237
Great news
I hope everybody read this article
forex
Rexy makes me feel like a natural woman. And I’m a dude.
@grasshopp3r
Wow you are a tool. I hope you cried your gay ass to sleep on Sunday night. As I told all the slightly queer bears fans around here “they aren’t that good… they just came from the shitty NFC”. Turns out they are now all depressed because the delusions that they have been living with over the past season have finally crumbled to reveal the shining reality of how bad the bears SUCK ASS… not to mention how much the whole state of Illinois sucks!
Haha… Bear down… hehe… such a stupid song. You bears fans look retarded now. Way to be the biggest over confident ass-hats leading upto the Super Bowl. Most bears fans were actually already talking about “when the parade is going on…” Haha, there is a God… and he hates the Bears!
After further review, the bears still suck… and so do you.
ill give a stat for all you rex fans…. he shows up to 50% of the games with a vagina between his probably shaved legs. and ironically enough, that pussy of his shows up when he’s on his back foot, which is his favorite position. griese couldnt do better. after tonights loss, griese is probably on his knees in the “im ready to take a sac” position. regardless of how many fucking games he won in the past, he fucked us tonight. and just for that…i think everyone can literally and metaphorically say …. “Fuck Rex Grossman”….we all hate you and go give griese that sac he wants.
Touchdown!!
Bear down, Chicago Bears, make every play clear the way to victory;
Bear down, Chicago Bears, put up a fight with a might so fearlessly.
We’ll never forget the way you thrilled the nation with your T-formation.
Bear down, Chicago Bears, and let them know why you’re wearing the crown.
You’re the pride and joy of Illinois, Chicago Bears, bear down.
I’m last here. I’m Grossman’s #1 fan.
all the goddamn bears fans out there are fucken idiots…and that includes myself…ask any lions fans out there and they would kill for a quartback as good as grossman….it is ridiculous how a quarterback in his first season playin as good as grossman is this year is takin this much shit from the fans…every quarterback in the game has bad games at times, even peyton manning and tom brady, believe it or not, and do u see patriots and colts fans saying that they should bring in the backup….jesus crist give the man some credit…yeah he is playing with a great defense, but that makes his bad games better than bradys and mannings…maybe he isnt as good as either one of them, but he has more wins than both of those quarterbacks in their first full seasons COMBINED….layoff the man and actually root for him to play well, rather than expect disaster week after week, and when he does play well, dont give me the bullshit that its because the defense gives him the edge….i hated on him, but now i look at it realistically and he could become something great…just stop the bullshit remarks…PLEASE!!!
eli manning, gay. G-REX TO THE SUPER BOWL FUCK THE HATERS! SLANG THEM BOMBS ALL DAY LET THEM BITCHES KNOW
That’s crazy stuff, Dude!
I dunno who that Rex guy is throwing the football for the NFL Bears in Chicago, but my name is Tex and I look just like him! I bet if you read my Space you’d like me 302 times more than that Boner-job!
Ha!
BoomCannon!
myspace.com/texchapman
Gee mister. I’m the kid in the wheelchair. I’ve got polio and genital herpes. Please don’t hit me in the face! You’ll knock all my teeth out and then no girl is very gonna want to kiss me. Please mister!
As you can see, when it counts, Rex can’t get it up!!
It’s almost like when he does poorly the bears play close games and when he does well they blow people out…
Looks like somebody never fully grasped the concept of causality.
sry bout the spelling but w/e you know what im saying
dude think about the fututre, grex is our guy, think about it, hes almost like a rookie, he hasnt played that many games due to all those injuries but making a switch in a QB now would be retarted since theres only 4 games left. How bout you let him get the expierence (were automatically in the playoffs dumbasses) i wouldnt care if we finished 10-6 in the regular season, as long as we make it to the superbowl
Wow.. Harsh words from some people here. I believe that Rex Grossman is going to be the reason the Bears will be 1 and done again this year. Rex play is horrible and Lovie should have followed the Vikings Move and got to the backup Griese. I have been a Rex supporter since the day we drafted him. So I’m not a bandwagon jumper, but a change at QB is needed. Grant this is Rex’s first full season as a starter but he has regressed all season long. The passes to Berrian are sweet but the two losses are Rex’s fault and the he is dangerously close to losing more games for us. He better sprint off the field and get in the locker room and get his shit together.
Let him think on the BENCH!!!
Check out my thoughts on http://wherehaveallthechampionsgone.blogspot.com/
Drew, you are a sick M-Fer. Enjoy all this while you can. You must be very young, because you don’t remember the bad years, even when Payton was there.You are probably a packer fan in disguise!
fuck stats and fuck fantasy rex is a winner hands down. when was the last time a bears quaterback was 9-2, the 2001 bears with the dynamic duo of Jim Miller and Shane Matthews. And to all you fake ass bears fans out there i bet you are all sucking grossmans dick when the bears win.
Finally someone knows exactly how RRRRRexy feels. Is there an end zone in the flats??? HELL 2 DA NAW!!! The end zone is fuckin’ straight ahead and deep and thats the only thing I see.
Some “experts” call it “tunnel vision”. But I guess thats what you develop when your job through the week is a gyno.
Rex only has big stats in games where the Bears blow teams out. How did he fare in the three close games against the Jets, Vikings and Arizona? I’ll go one step further and ask how he fared in the two losses. More shitty than the three close games. He’s a little guy with Napolion syndrome and that is why he needs to throw the ball down field so freakin’ much. He should try to throw the ball to the correct side of the receiver. Here are his stats for the three close games, the two losses and the six blowout wins
3 Close games
48% Comp/180 yds pass/2 TD/6 INT/52.17rating
2 Losses
43% comp/193 yds pass/1 TD/6 INT/30.2 rating
6 blowout wins
65% comp/244 yds pass/15 TD/2 INT/115.23 rating
As you can see, when it counts, Rex can’t get it up!!
Great post, thank God I didn’t start that douchebag in fantasy. I was smart and started Delhomme against the Skins…..oh wait
OMG, that’s some funny shit. Clever and dirty — just the way I like it. =)I would come up with something similar for my own Jake Plummer, but he just lost his job.
Rex Gross should have been benched sometime in the middle of the Arizona game, and if we didn’t have a Dusty Baker wannabe for a coach, he would have. Brian Griese may not be flashy, but with this defense you should be able to win with Kyle Orton. Rex Gross snatches defeat from the jaws of victory and I for one wouldn’t care if he played one more snap for us.
This has got to be one of the funniest things I have EVER read. I’ve read this 3 times and each time was laughing out loud. Now that I know about this site, I will be back everyday to entertain myself and my FANTASY FOOTBALL PEEPS.
Sexy Rexy Cumslinger is utterly fuckin’ hilarious. BRILLIANT.
People bitching about fantasy football ruins real football? I thought it was Michael Irvin and John Mellencamp.
You forgot about Toby Keith.
Sexy Rexy needs to have a hot curling iron shoved up his ass.
I read that Grossman’s jersey is currently the seventh-best seller in the league. I know Bears fans are a loyal bunch, but I find it hard to believe there are that many people willing to pay good money for a jersey with “GROSSMAN” on the back.
Come on, that was the name of the fat douche cop from “CHiPs.” Show some self respect, people.
People bitching about fantasy football ruins real football? I thought it was Michael Irvin and John Mellencamp.
yeah but people that don’t bitch about fantasy football probably have AIDS.
so you hate rex because he doesn’t do well enough for your fantasy team? people bitching about fantasy football ruins real football.
Sexy Rexy is a Gator, not a dragon
he would have won if he could breathe fire
After having to watch that damn game, I really needed this post.
Thank you Drew.
Ok, let’s leave poor Rex alone now. Favre is doing a bang-up job of adding a whole bunch of Seahawks to his favorite receivers list.
Go Brett!
Grossman might have a good record this season..but that fuckwit screwed the living shit out of one of my fantasy teams,minus points don’t cut it mutha fucka. Fuck him in the ass with a very large,splintered pole..twice even.
Ok, I feel A LOT better now. Thanks Drew for giving me the incentive to write this diatribe.
Zach is right — a little bit of Spurrier’s Fun-n-Gun lives on in Sexy Rexy.
steve spurrier’s dick is growing with every deep ball. sorta like pinnochio. but different.
As a Bear fan, I will take the cumslinger over Hutchinson/Quinn/Krenzel/Stewart/Orton anyday.
Brilliant work drew!
Is it okay that I reserved jaybuttler.blogspot.com? This Tony Homo thing is getting way out of hand.
Loved the two posts this morning. They gave me that uneasy “wait, are my work computers monitored by management?” feeling.
Oh, and this kid is proof that Pittsburgh should bombed, Dresden-style.
The best part is that Rex — I’m assuming it was Rex Grossman — registered with Blogger solely to leave that comment.
ladies and gentlemen, your poet laureate
FUCK ALL YOU GROSSMAN HATERS, REX’S RECORD 14-6 BITCHES. ALSO REX IS 6TH IN TD’S AND ONLY NEEDS 3 TD’S TO TIE THE LEAGUE. STILL BETTER THAN THAT GAY FUCK ELI, MORE YARDS MORE TD AND LESS INTS!!!! SO FUCK ALL U GROSSMAN HATERS.
And here I thought Kevin Spacey was like Rex Grossman gay.
I stand cor-rex-ed.
My spleen feels like Chris Simms’ after the Panthers game.
Can we get a hat trick and bash Jake Delhomme too?
Riding arabian horses with Jake? gay.
I am pestering a fantasy league mate with these in-depth looks into the psyches of these “NFL Starters”…he has both and is not mathematically eliminated from the playoffs…yet.
Even Jay Mariotti’s panties get moist with talk like that, BDD.
When did you guys become The Onion?
Kevin Spacey gay. Love it.
“I wanna be like Rex.”
Drew is my hero
When Al Davis says that your team relies on the pass too much, you know you have problems.
Here’s Bears play calling-
run
BOMB!!!
Rex walks off the field shaking his head.
I imagine the huddle as the receiver runs in the play “Split right Run over 2…”
Rex head turns red and starts to shake and foam starts to come out of his mouth and he screams
” FUCK THAT SHIT! Go deep you speedy muthafuckahs! Muhammad keep your slow geraitric ass out of the way. BREAK!”
I am crying right now.
I so want to frame this, but work frowns upon your phrasing.
Rexy’s trying to hard to compensate for his “small hands”.
What in God’s name did you have for breakfast, Drew? You’ve already had two more big plays than Rex and Eli combined.