The Terrell Owens Drinking Game: It Was Only a Matter of Time
The doctors told me I have an “addictive personality with obsessive-compulsive tendencies.” Apparently the brain mechanism that allows other people to enjoy vices in moderation is broken in my noggin. So as enthusiastic as I am about gambling, I don’t let myself bet on sports online. It’s also why I can’t play fantasy football or go to Las Vegas without supervision or let women sleep in my apartment overnight.
Say what you will about Lauren — I’m getting too old to get turned on by edgy dye jobs, and the mere mention of “Terrell Owens” gives me a vague nausea — but if such a thing as the perfect storm of legal-yet-addictive vice exists, it would have to be a tattooed, bisexual chick from a sports gambling website telling me how to play a drinking game while I watch football.
Well, friends, such a thing exists.
If anyone needs me I’ll be in the gutter.
Tags: Uncategorized
September 30th, 2006 at 7:07 pm
Rachel Ray went punk?
September 30th, 2006 at 8:48 pm
wow. she seems awesome.
October 1st, 2006 at 1:12 am
I’m 99% positive there was no wine in that cup.
In other words, she didn’t swallow.
October 1st, 2006 at 10:56 am
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again:
Drinking is not a game. It’s a skill.
October 1st, 2006 at 11:10 am
If you started this drinking game at the top of Sunday NFL Countdown, you’d be legally dead right now.
October 1st, 2006 at 11:22 am
So addictive personality is your excuse for not letting women sleep at your place overnight? Mine is that it costs triple.
October 1st, 2006 at 12:08 pm
The only drinking game I enjoy is “Drinky Beery”. seriously, when i want a drink i have one, then to celebrate i have another. You’ll be able to gauge my success when i get back from the redskins game to write a drunken post.
October 1st, 2006 at 12:30 pm
I think “Lauren” is the product of a marketing campaign. Admittedly she is much hotter than Mr. Peanut. Not as hot as Aunt Jemima though.
/I had to type “hjkyavzk” to post this. That’s total bullshit.