When I am 70 years old, I hope to be grossly overweight while living in a bus, aimlessly scribbling on shit, and getting paid to watch football. In other words, I want to be John Madden. Despite being a Pro Football Hall-of-Famer and broadcasting icon, he has also been on the ass-end of countless jokes and criticisms of football broadcasting. Our favorite, of course, would be his blatant overuse of the telestrator, that thingy that draws stuff on the screen, demonstrated here in a great Mad TV sketch (there was one?) c/o YouTube.

BTW, we are less than 7 weeks away from Madden 07 hitting stores. Can we pay for the game with chicken wings?