This here website is Kissing Suzy Kolber. The posse here — Big Daddy Drew, Captain Caveman, Footsteps Falco, Monday Morning Punter, and Unsilent Majority — is dedicated to kicking ass and making NFL-related jokes.
That’s the long and short of it. There will be no analysis. Any mention of statistics to prove that a certain team is “better” than another will be countered with stats like this: 98% of assholes use stats to make a pointless argument. The only thing that we offer is the funny. Bring the funny or get the fuck out, that’s our motto. Or at least it might be. It hasn’t been ratified yet.
“Kissing Suzy Kolber.” It feels good on your tongue, does it not?
Coming soon: What teams will be funny in 2006? KSK previews all 31 pro teams, plus the Texans.
At last our long national unfunny dream is over. Good morning, bitches. It’s time to wake up and laugh at the NFL.
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hi
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good luck
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First post, 101 comments. You guys were finger lickin’ good from the start.
Were we to understand there’d be punch and pie?
Has anyone fired that Millen fellow yet?
Anon: No, the craziest part is the outrageous claim that Pennington is actually any good.
The craziest part of that video clip is that the Jets actually got a first down.
Longtime Deadspin lurker – even though baseball is my preferred worktime hoover I look forward to spending my hungover mornings on your blog. Best of luck!
hooray!
I don’t UM.
This is just great. Just when I had my daily sports blog consumption at a healthy three, you have to go and start this. I’m completely screwed. Thanks guys, seriously.
Mocking the Texans. Not fair. But a great start.
bone, we do football ’round here
besides, the prez is busy filling out the paperwork to pardon his teamate.
FREE AWVEE!
I hope the Black President will be well represented this upcoming year, even though he is in no way affiliated with the Miami police department.
struggaling
Where’s the fucking scotch?
Your pal,
Joe #12
It’s hilarious to see this video again and again, thank you for making this your name and founding post. Namath speaks with the honesty of a 7th grader who has just imbibed his first three wine coolers.
Good luck guys.
Big Cluckin Chicken.
-Christ Sabo
a blog by the Deadspin all star commenters? sweet
screw you guys i’m going home
I actually signed up to Blogspot so I could make fun of you guys.
Happy hunting!
AWE-SOME. Saves me some time hitting up Google to find a football blog to read.
Good God, what’s that smell? Ohhh, right, a hell of a lot of testosterone.
Siobhan: That’s the smell of desire, m’lady.
nThe puch is spiked though, right?
we aren’t deadspin, they have “sources” and “editors”
we have punch and pie
I can’t wait for the fun to begin!
Please, just leave poor J.P. Losman out of all this. Bills fans have suffered enough.
I’ve already bookmarked Deadspin Jr.
god i pray anonymous doesn’t have external genetalia
From a longtime Deadspin lurker, I’m looking forward to reading the blog guys.
One more thing, I covet you UM.
Stupid Blogger fields.
‘Tis I, TheStarterWife, who does not want to kiss Suzy.
I don’t have to really Kiss Suzy Kolber to read the site, do I?
Add an RSS feed or something. And don’t let just anyone comment
~my 2 cents
I expect wit, literary references and photographic evidence.
Roll on!
You’re with me, B-Team.
Sorry, I’ve just been jealous of deadspin commentors for months now.
Good God, what’s that smell? Ohhh, right, a hell of a lot of testosterone. I like it. Yes I do.
Congrats and good luck on the new blog as it will offer plenty of original witticisms for me to further waste my day.
And I’ll echo the thoughts of others as this will allow us sans invites to comment.
Nice! Looking forward to checking this out every 12.7 minutes (i.e. the interval at which I tire of working).
I, too, want to kiss Suzy Kolber.
“i couldn’t care less about the team straggalling”
So, where are the pics of Suzy Kolber?
Visiting among your commenters occasionally is not lurking, not gay, not inflating your comment count, it’s polite and engaging and encourages new readers.
Now that that’s out of the way, bring on your 31 pro teams plus the Texans. I’m excited.
okay, i made it across the chasm and clicked on this link. i’m ready for the funny… [checking my watch]
Will there be cheerleaders on this here blog?
I was going to start a blog called “Boning Linda Cohn” but you guys stole my thunder.
Looking forward to it. I’ll be linking it up on the MSD (where, I pull a lot of T.O.s).
Cheers!
As a Texan season ticket holder I’m really looking forward to this – not in a Christmas morning sort of way, but in a first dose of penicillin or Famvir sort of way.
Not caring is a kind of caring, right?
fridge=wit,class
cumby=logic,dorkisms
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ag1XFqF2Ky4
Can’t wait. Another place for me to go waste away whatever time I have left to waste.
You’re with me, un-moderated comments section
I actually hail from a major producer and exporter of football-funny. You may know it as Minnesota.
So, I’m excited to read/lurk/JV comment your site.
Wow. A blog devoted to humor in the NFL that so far has zero humor. Better bring the funny soon.
An NFL blog huh? Am I invited?
I thought you guys were creating a fantasy football league, not a blog. At any rate, this will probably be funnier than a rundown of your draft, anyway.
So essentially, this will be the commentary B-League (or perhaps more likely, the Local Rec Softball League) for all of us lurkers who are not a) cool or b) savvy enough to get Deadspin invites?
-or to put more simply-
KSK Bloggers = Family Matters to Deadspin’s Perfect Strangeres (i.e. spin-off that’s just as good)
KSK Commenters = Enos LAPD to Deadspin’s Dukes of Hazzard (i.e. not so good)
Also, to CC- Go Seahawks (or Sea-Turkeys as I will always affectionately call them).
Oh boy, am I happy. College football is my drug of choice, but this may actually make me care about the NFL.
blaaaaahhhh, I don’t even care about the stats. All I know is I just wanna kiss you right now…
Yaaaaayyyy!!!
I will be expecting various and sundry Michael Strahan entries very soon. Good luck, gentlemen.
Best of luck to my favorite Deadspin commenters!
CC…Does the invite still stand?
Yes…but can you make Joe Namath sober?
You guys are so linked from my blog.
TO is not gay…he’s just misunderstood and confused.
Good luck, lads. Even if you didn’t write another post, I’d probably still visit here once a week just to watch that video.
Have fun.
Hey, I am just happy to see someone take shots (both passing and parting) at the NFL – the Globex of our sporting universe. Best of luck from a Deadspin comment lurker – I am sure you won’t need it, but I’ll provide it anyways.
A spinoff! Deadspin has officially jumped the shark.
Does this make you guys the “JT the Brick” to Will Leitchs Jim Rome?
Good luck with this thing. I’ve always enjoyed the majority of your collective comments on Deadspin.
Longtime lurker, first time poster.
Deadspin Wolfpac? Will CC turn on UM & rejoin Deadspin Hollywood for the $? Hopefully, this will have a longer life than that crap did.
Ha! He actually said AfterMASH.
Looking forward to this..
dwight, i will not be going anywhere. the fact that you have taken on such a name (and even phrased questions like the man himself) makes me think that you will make an excellent commenter.
Please include the videos in your RSS feed….thanks ya!p
oh good. something else to look at when i should be working. i’ll go ahead and book mark you. i just hope you update more than i do on my livejournal.
and before you make fun of me, yes, i concede that i am a 12 year old girl for having a livejournal.
Bring it on, guys. This will be good. Granted, it’s 800 degrees in my apartment right now, so I’m not in a real NFL state of mind, but I’ll have my game face on when the time comes.
Dweeze: you are a witness to history. In a way, we owe this blog to an insane Brazilian woman.
This is like a spinoff of Entourage, except starring Turtle.
Hey, Yankees fans looooove Entourage, right CC??
Question: Will this in any way impact the quality/quantity of your collective posts on Deadspin? You don’t want to disappoint all of us Deadspin-lurkers, do you? DO YOU?
Sniff. And to think I was there when the idea was first broached on CC’s blog.
So how long till you get mentioned by Billy Simmons?