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Gamma Squad
Kissing Suzy Kolber is a humor site dedicated solely to the NFL.

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07.30.10
SEXY FRIDAY…And Schef Makes It A Threesome

RECE DAVIS: Hello again, everyone. Rece Davis along with NFL insider Adam Schefter. As the league’s 32 teams are about to get ready for training camp, you’re just about to head out on the road, yourself. You’ll be joining Chris Mortensen on a cross-country bus tour to visit every NFL team. Read the rest of this entry »

17 Comments » BY: Monday Morning Punter | TAGS: chris mortensen, ESPN, I like the part where he fooled around with girls, jeez punter that's just wrong, MMP

07.30.10
Nope, Nothing That Can Be Misinterpreted Here

Here you see Bill Belichick soaking a football to simulate wet field conditions. Particularly during Jets games, when fans throw bags of urine onto the field.

Look at that stream! The Pats’ Flomax sponsorship is really paying dividends.

(thanks to Matt T. for the tip)

26 Comments » BY: Captain Caveman | TAGS: Bill Belichick, captain caveman, he's very well hydrated, urine trouble mister

07.30.10
KSK Commenter Draft: TV Show Supporting Characters

Glorious television. It’s always there when you need it, it never asks anything of you, and today it’s the inspiration for another KSK Commenter Draft. This week you’ll be picking a supporting character from any scripted television show (past or present) who you would want to be. The idea is that you’d live out this character’s life in whichever era he or she existed.

We’ll start things off with Kramer, because I’ve always wanted to punch Mickey Mantle.

Aaaaaaaand…go!

209 Comments » BY: Unsilent Majority | TAGS: ksk commenter drafts, Teacher mother secret lover, Unsilent Majority

07.29.10
Where Have You Gone, Tato Skin DiMaggio? Our Nation Turns Its Lonely Eyes to the Sex/Fantasy Football Mailbag

Greetings. We’ve got a full mailbag this week (5400-plus words), and for once I was actually kind of diligent on Wednesday night and didn’t spend the evening drinking and ignoring your questions. That means there are some thoughtful answers below. And — yes — some mean ones, too. And some grammar-Nazism.

And yet people still write in every week. Believe me, I’m as surprised as you are.

Read the rest of this entry »

63 Comments » BY: Captain Caveman | TAGS: captain caveman, the KSK football sex advice mailbag

07.29.10

44. PUNTE and Brandon discuss the TO signing as Ryan reads the news. Sarah Sprague jumps in to give us the lowdown on “foodie-ism.” She also has some thoughts on that Pearlman column from yesterday. Josh Bacott discusses his creation, Joe Sports Fan, and how his team have gone both bigger and more local at once. And Shakey returns from the beach, and starts what has to be the first-ever harmonica battle in the history of podcasting.


Hosted by Josh Zerkle and Brandon Moskal. Recorded June 28, 2010. Runs 68 minutes. Listen here or on the embeddable player, download the ep here (right-click, “Save As…”) and subscribe to HOUSE OF PUNTE: The KSK Podcast on iTunes.

3 Comments » BY: Monday Morning Punter | TAGS: HOUSE OF PUNTE, KSK Podcasting, MMP

07.28.10
Say, Who’s This Handsome Fella Who Stole Collinsworth’s Neck?

68 Comments » BY: Big Daddy Drew | TAGS: do your worst

07.28.10
This Week In Eff You: Columnists Who Use Any Bad Event To Damn American Society As A Whole


Hate on Ben all you like. YOU made him all rapey, mister!

We’re in the dreaded post-draft period of the NFL offseason. There’s still no real football for weeks. You’re hurt. You’re angry. You’re hateful. We understand. At KSK, hating things is what we do best, which is why we have the recurring This Week In Eff You series, to soothe your white hot anger. This week: Columnists who use any bad event to damn American society as a whole.

Read the rest of this entry »

78 Comments » BY: Big Daddy Drew | TAGS: Big Daddy Drew, this week in f--k you

07.28.10
Getting to Know Tim Tebow’s Bulge

Live strong, but do so with taupe colored wrist bands, in keeping with the rugged masculine look we’re going for. See that leather behind me? That leather has values. That’s hetero leather.

If you were wondering why Dan Shanoff just pitched a tent outside of his local Macy’s, it’s because Tim Tebow recently signed an agreement to become the official face bulge of Jockey underwear. You already know Tebow pretty well. Now it’s time to meet The Bulge.
Read the rest of this entry »

29 Comments » BY: Unsilent Majority | TAGS: Dan Shanoff's bulge just perked up, orson swindle, photoshop by Ufford, Unsilent Majority

07.27.10
Terrell Owens Ushered Into SW Ohio-Based Carnival Of Unhinged Football Retards

An aged and desperate Terrell Owens has been signed by the Bengals to a one-year deal to replace the gimpy Antonio Bryant. Owens, a noted suicidal troublemaker with a penchant for roster insurrection, joins Adam “formerly Pacman” Jones, Cedric Benson, Matt Jones, Rey Maualuga, Tank Johnson and Chad Ochocinco to form the first-ever reality show about getting DUIs while doing cocaine in the back seat with underage girls who are holding your weapons cache and getting into a fight with your bodyguard. Also: making it rain Sun Chips. I think that covers all the bases of requisite jokes.

Sorry, I know this announcement is supposed to be more fun. Like, WOW, how can all these volatile components exist together without an orgy of orgies? But I don’t know. It’s set up like Dinner For Schmucks, in that there’s just such a purposeful overabundance of things that are really supposed to be funny that it renders everything banal and sad. Which is sorta fitting for Cincinnati.

44 Comments » BY: Christmas Ape | TAGS: cincinnati bengals, ocho cinco, t.o.

07.27.10
It’s Called Aerodynamicism, Dumbf-ck

That’s right. I shaved my head, in case you can’t tell by the big honking photo that your office manager down the hall has been creaming about for an hour. People don’t notice for four days when you get your hair cut, but when I do, it’s on front pages in places where they don’t even believe in Christ. This is big news, obviously. Anytime I do anything, it’s news, OF COURSE, but when I do stuff with my appearance, it’s extra big news. Because anything with photos is like easy pickins for media outlets, like for me when I play the Denver Donkeydicks.

Can we give this a rest? I been in camp not long enough to tell Norv he’s a goat scroat for a chin when all these leery media types start asking why? Why the bald head, Phil?

Read the rest of this entry »

40 Comments » BY: Christmas Ape | TAGS: forcing posts is fun, marmalard, xmas ape
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