Now that Tom Brady has a fun new ‘do just in time for summer, all we have to do to now is find the perfect breezy pop song to blast with the top down on the way to the local tiki bar. O HAI, what have we here? A cover of Carly Rae Jepsen’s soon-to-be-if-not-already ubiquitous pop earwig “Call Me Maybe” with lyrics refashioned for Dreamboat and sung into a webcam with dramatic flair by a skinny ginger kid? That’ll do just nicely.

Just as the current stable of Giants players collects their latest ring, an oft-troubled legend from yesteryear is trying to unload one of his. On the off chance you’ve got an extra 40 grand burning a hole in fancy-dancy rich man’s pantaloons, you can get in on the action to buy Lawrence Taylor’s championship ring from Super Bowl XXV. You see, LT’s life has hit a rough part ever since he was introduced to lady cocaine. Then there was that messy incident with the underaged prostitute and, well, it was probably only a matter of time before it came to this.

Maybe a good idea for a Bills fan who wants something pricey to wing at Scott Norwood? Little too rich for my blood, not to mention that I have no desire to own a Giants Super Bowl ring, but there are obviously more than a few collectors/fans out there who are plenty interested. Let me know when LT is shopping his Luther “Shark” Lavay memorabilia from Any Given Sunday. I could really go for the chainsaw he used to cut through that car. It would go nicely with my budding collection of insane linebacker weaponry and fight gear. I’d hang it right next to Greg Lloyd’s karate gi.

I’ll leave it to Teebs to try to square this with his faith and copyright law, but Tebow and his attorneys seem to be under the impression that they own the name Jesus. Gonna be great when Tebow pursues legal action against a bunch of Mexicans. Hell, that would make him even more of a hero to the Tebowtards. Anyway, Cubby Tees, which markets a tee with the Jets logo altered to say “MY Jesus” plus an Ichthys where the football should be, received a cease-and-desist order from Tebow’s representatives.

The website clearly states, “This fun design is not officially endorsed by New York’s backup quarterback or the Son of God, but plays off the themes of Tebow’s faith and his new team.”

Still, Tebow’s attorneys are demanding the site stop “any use of Mr. Tebow’s name and/or likeness” — and according to Cubby Tees, Tebow already successfully petitioned eBay to remove the tees.

Kinda makes me wish Jesus would return just so he could hire a bunch of lawyers (Andrew Sweat preferably) to sue the sh*t out of everybody wearing a cross or screenprinting his likeness on a T-shirt. That’s misappropriating his likeness, pal, and that don’t fly with Hey-Zeus.

Although Jon Gruden has shown himself capable of being engaging and occasionally cogent on his QB Camp specials with impending draftees, he remains generally worthless in the “Monday Night Football” booth. There’s a clear and grating Gruden M.O.: he ticks off his litany of catchphrases, assigns random professions as nicknames (“THIS GUY, ANDY DALTON, I’M GONNA CALL HIM THE ASTRONAUT, BECAUSE THERE’S NO TELLING HOW HIGH HE’LL GO AND BECAUSE HE BELONGS ON A RED PLANET!”) and shouts.

We already know to expect a more concentrated dose of Gruden this coming season after ESPN removed Jaws from the booth in order to go with a two-man team. What we didn’t know is just how much the Worldwide Leader loves them some Chucky. From a media Q&A session with ESPN president John Skipper:

Jaws [Ron Jaworksi] is great. What we are mostly trying to do is we want to ride Gruden. Gruden is a star. You have seen his QB show. He has a lot of personality. He has a lot to say. There was some concern that he and Jaws sounded a little bit the same in the booth. We just thought it would help viewers sort of understand who was there. Our sense is we ride Mr. Gruden a little bit. I think he can be a big star.

Sure, if you’re going solely by the QB specials, I could understand why he might have confidence in Gruden’s affability as a potential audience draw. But like all others who enter an ESPN booth, Gruden is injected by producers with a cocktail of ketamine, speed and that compound from 28 Days Later just before he goes on the air. He immediately drops 40 IQ points and becomes a frothing jackass. If there’s any consolation in the network president talking about riding him out like a running back, it probably means Gruden will break down into disrepair within three or four years.

In making the most obvious joke possible about Rex Ryan losing 90 lbs., Adam Schefter kept the god damn in “god damn snacks” while on-air. My stars! Such ribaldry! Either it’s the best evidence yet that Schefter is not actually a cyborg or his makers have added a swearing patch in his latest “human colloquialisms” update.

- On the outside chance you haven’t seen the profile of Justin Bieber that Drew wrote for GQ, get on it. The outtakes are also up over at Deadspin. As Kogod has noted, the greatest is yet to come when the Beebtards spew all their hate at Drew over Twitter for disparaging their swaggy lover boy.

- Got an extra $4,275 laying around? You could win the chance to have some fun out there while tossing the ball around with Brett Favre. Or if you have a set of tits, he’ll let you toss them for free.

- Further evidence that people are the worst: the home of Junior Seau was robbed five days after he committed suicide. Could be Junior Safehouse wasn’t the right wording after all.

- Because of the effects of a concussion, former Giants kicker Matt Bahr didn’t know where he was when he made the field goal to win the 1990 NFC Championship Game. Same goes for Lawrence Taylor, but that’s more on account of being coked out of his mind.

- Nick Mangold appeared on “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” to take part in the “Wax On/ Wax Off” segment. First impression: Nick wasn’t all that hirsute in the torso region to begin with. You could have probably gotten more off of Holley Mangold.

Now that the Giants’ Super Bowl rings have been officially unveiled and Justin Tuck can stop talking about how all the leaked images looked nothing like the actual hardware, the Giants are looking to share the championship joy through social media with their fans. And so we have a mobile app that allows users to superimpose a “virtual” Super Bowl ring or Lombardi trophy into their profile image. How loverly.

Oh, the greasedouche duck face that will ensue. It will be endless. On a related note, I’m certain Tiki Barber has already downloaded this. Hell, while we’re at it, let’s give everybody Giants rings.

Yeah, that’s about how I feel about it, too, Cutty. But at least you finally got one!